


The Sea of Aurora

by mintcoloredeye



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, TaoRis - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:21:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23890762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mintcoloredeye/pseuds/mintcoloredeye
Summary: This fic is dedicated to Kris' newest song Aurora,Throwback, Puppet and Sea of Time. Where Kris Wu longs to return to Tao's life after their breakup during the winter, after Kris cheated on Tao with Luna and Tao has started to move on.Taoris
Relationships: Huang Zi Tao | Z.Tao/Wu Yi Fan | Kris
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	1. Throwback

Note : This fic is dedicated to Kris' newest song Aurora, Throwback, Puppet and Sea of Time. Kris cannot move on and wanted Tao back after his cheating with Luna.

\---

In retrospect, Kris has done a lot of dumb things in his life. One of them is denying his feelings, and the other is his inability to control himself.

A lot of the fights that happened in his relationship with Tao has a recurring pattern. It starts with Tao wanting to be more publicly affectionate, his desire to reaffirm his position in Kris' life, which makes sense, considering his abandonment issues after Kris last left EXO. Kris, on the other hand, likes safety, privacy and above all, emotional invulnerability and will start to distance himself with Tao emotionally, which led them to fights.

It's almost ironic that as much as Tao loves public display of affections, Kris is deeply afraid of it. After they reunite during the new year event, they had been deeply entangled again and it almost felt as if they had never been apart. Kris had given him the custom-made dragon necklace from his brand. It's a symbol to show that I'm giving myself to you, he had said lovingly, noting the small, proud and mischievous smile that blossomed in Tao's face. Dragon has always been Kris' symbol, even back in EXO.

"Should I give you a panda necklace then?" Tao had joked, "To symbolise my surrendering my everything to you? Is that what you want?"

Kris has kissed him softly in the lips then and their chuckle reverberated in each other's mouth. He didn't say it and Tao probably knew it as well but he needs no reassurance from Tao when it comes to his love, the boy is basically radiating his love through his glance, his body language, his songs, everything. He knew that Tao has surrendered himself to Kris since a long time ago, there were no mind games with him, no guessing - just a trusting surrender. The emotional honesty is one of the reasons he always felt safe with Tao. He wouldn't lie to Kris, he cannot.

He had given the dragon necklace to Tao because it is the least thing he could do to make their relationship official, something Tao can brag about in his social media. A reassurance that Kris loves him. These things are important to Tao, who had always been a romantic. 

The start of their relationship has been very sweet, with them chatting each other non-stop during the day and kissing and snuggling hungrily whenever they meet, Tao begging him to take him to shop and play games. Kris cooking noodles for Tao like the old times during their training days. They had also went to the sea, Tao's favorite place and played there the entire day, splashing water and eating barbecue during sunset. It was their safe haven.

Watching as the sun set and promising each other the eternity, they had built themselves a romantic dream. They know that their relationship is like a ticking bomb - it's forbidden by both society and their hearts, but Kris has always convinced Tao to enjoy the moment, though he can see the younger's eye grow dimmer whenever he mentioned it which also breaks his heart before laughing in agreement.

Deep inside their hearts, they knew that their relationship had no ending and no future, but they convinced themselves that they still have time to create beautiful memories before reality hits them both.

\---

The fights started when Kris start to getting gay comments again after Tao sends him the red roses for his concert, 99 roses to represent his undying love. Tao was too blatant, even posting that he loves Kris on weibo. His mother had urgently called Kris and asked him to explain himself, she had always been apprehensive and suspicious about their relationship. The last thing you would need, she said, is to get into another dating scandal with a man. She has recounted her past stories with his father and warned him not to get ruined because of love. 

All hell has however broken loose when Kris told Tao to tone down his love, the sea of broken hurt reflected in his eyes, dredging up memories of the past betrayals committed by Kris.

"Are you ashamed of me, Wu Yi Fan?" He had asked, his eyes bloodshot and red-rimmed with tears. 

Kris had been silent then, unable to answer. And that was answer enough from Tao. They had been silent then. Neither one wanted to contact each other.

What they need is a time to cool down and take a break, Kris thinks. He has contacted a few of his mates then, who had been happier to oblige, and having been ignored during the times when he was heavily invested on Tao. They had went on a bar and Kris has been introduced to a girl. Luna Qin, she was pretty enough. She was a fan of his and wanted to study music from him, she said. 

Kris didn't see the harm in it. He always had respect for those who would want to hone their music skills. And loath as he is to admit it, he had missed Tao badly and a distraction could have been good for him.

Being with Luna was different from Tao, there was no pressure, no fights and he was less emotionally invested in her, so it was easy.

Tao still hadn't messaged him after that day and Kris had called Luna several times to his house for a quickie.

He needed that release, and it was all under the cover. It will all be fine as long as Tao doesn't know about it. 

He was naïve, when he thinks about all of it in a hindsight, when he saw his dating news sprawled across their magazine. He had messaged Luna angrily, knowing that she was the one who leaked it to the media. She had laughed at him, "I'm sorry, Kris. But I know you don't love me and you have been using me as well. So, it's a give and take. I'm not a cheap prostitute, you see."


	2. The Once Beautiful Dawn

Note: check out 'Dawn' by Kris Wu and 'Once Beautiful' and 'Error' by Z.Tao for the breakup songs. 'Eternal Love' is Kris begging Tao to come back.

Kris' life came crumbling down with the dating scandal. The fight he had with Tao was crazy, there was a lot of shouting and crying - how did you betray me again were repeated over and over. Kris half wished Tao would hit him, and get it over. In a way, it would be better than to see Tao cry, at least then he would share half of the physical hurt the younger was feeling. 

He knew that trust has been a scarce currency between them after he left exo without telling Tao - it has left them with an insecurity that never quite disappear- an obsessive need of reassurance, and the hurt was still there as an undercurrent of their relationship, which will bubble up whenever the slightest crack appear. Kris had always hated to see Tao cry, his heart ache whenever he sees the younger one suffers. But he cannot help it, he can never control it. 

But, the tears had dried too. They are both tired of the forbidden relationship that would lead to nowhere - always hiding, and with their busy schedule, they barely have time for each other. They know there is no future in the relationship - not when they are public figures and have a whole career laid out for them. Kris had always told that at least they would have memories of them together to treasure when they are old- that the memories would be enough to hold them together. 

The only way Kris can escape from this is through his songs, he could not get over Tao, but he will try because he knew that Tao would be happier without him and the only way he could be happy is for him to let go. 

xxx

Tao has taken the break-up with a stiff upper lip. He still loves Kris, that much is impossible to deny. They both have accepted to be tied with the curse to love each other unconditionally, despite how much they tried to struggle. After a lot of crying and shouting, they decided to part amicably, with Tao telling Kris not to contact him again, because it's too painful and he needed space to move on. 

At first, Kris has agreed with the arrangement, he has always been the one in control in the relationship, knowing that Tao was the one who is in love more and is always ready to give everything while he is always the one who gave too little. 

Little did he knew that life without Tao would be so empty, he missed Tao's silly laughter whenever he teased him, his constant messages in the mornings with tags of stupid photos he would only share with Kris, Tao begging him to do stuffs he would never normally do - play games with him, watch romantic dramas with him and to snuggle with him in the bed, all the stuffs he had acquiesced to spoil the younger had eaten him alive now, and a part of him missed it, as he watched the newest drama he promised to watch with Tao alone. He missed comforting Tao when he cried because of the cheesy clique chick flicks, and hugging him all night after watching the movie - content in their love.

The thought about Tao moving on killed him and he cannot bring himself to imagine Tao kissing, teasing and smiling with anyone else. He cannot bring himself to accept the thought that he will no longer be the first one in Tao's eyes. 

Kris had tried forgetting Tao - with booze, alcohol and women. He would hang out with his friends and he would realise that no one really gave him the unconditional love Tao gave him. They all knew him to be the cool, impenetrable Kris Wu. Kris had been comfortable with Tao because Tao had seen every side of him - his vulnerable side, his goofy and dorky side and that worshipping glint in his eyes had never disappeared whenever he looked at Kris.

xxx

He had send flowers to Tao (white roses and blue hydrangeas for apologies), only to receive no answers. All his answers were left unanswered, Tao has effectively cut him from his life. 

He had called Luhan - the only tie he has left to Tao - to ask him how Tao is doing. Luhan had sounded cold, and Kris felt bad about it, Luhan had always been neutral to the up and downs in their relationship, but have been nothing but absolutely loyal with the two of them. He had always sided with the two of them and wanted nothing more but for the two of them to be happy.

But, this time, Luhan had answered him with a clipped tone. He didn't sound happy and it is to be expected. Despite everything, Luhan had always been protective of the youngest in EXO and this time Kris has been in the wrong. Because Kris was the one who cheated.

"I would give anything to get him back, Luhan", he pleaded to Luhan and he knew Luhan's heart quivered a bit at that statement. Perhaps he too, can sense how Kris is breaking. He knew he is breaking, desperate, whatever cool facade he had be damned. Luhan knew of Kris' obsession of always appearing to be in control. "You know how much I love him, it was a mistake- with that woman, the only one I love is him."

Luhan sighed. "This time it's really bad, Kris. I think you really broke him. He's trying to force himself to be happy without you. Have you tried apologising to him?"

"I did. But he won't answer my calls or read my texts. I know I fucked up real bad this time."

"You can still reach him though." Luhan said, "Pour your apology to a song but you have to throw all your ego and pride away, plead him to love you again and give you one more chance. Tao still loves you and we know our little brother is a sucker for romantic songs."

"Thanks, Luhan. I'm sorry for always involving you in our lover's spat." Kris said, "We really owe you one."

"What are friends for?" Luhan said, and Kris can see him rolling his eyes. "Please make him happy, Kris. He was a sobbing mess the last time I saw him. Even more than usual."

"I will." Kris said.

xxx

Kris doesn't know if his single 'Eternal Love' had worked to move Tao's heart. But he had used all his birthday wish to beg the other to come back. 

He has never been so raw and emotionally honest in a song before but he is willing to gave everything up to go back with Tao and patch things up. He has no use of his pride or anything else. 

When Tao suddenly tagged him in his post for the 'Best of Us' song, he didn't know how to react. The song was quite cryptic. But, he immediately know that L was him.


End file.
